guys, have u ever thinking bout your life? i mean, today life is over, then what happen to the next? i've been thinking for many times. is the life will be going the same everyday? im bored to get through the same thing, each second in every single day. what will happen to me in the next, in the future. am i totally being confirmed to be a doctor? or am i will not becoming a doctor? adakah aku sempat untuk bekahwin nanti? is my life long enough to achieve and fulfill all my dreams? i wont my life's ended without even repenting. im very scared to be that way. there is many question marks in ma head but i couldnt answer those, even one. just imagine how bad i am. soo pathetic i am. however it is, even life seems like boring everyday, but with friends that always brighten my days, family who are always encouraging and supporting me, life is actually blissful. it very hard to stand with two legs, so i need the others' legs to be with me. thanks to you sayangs.
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did i mentioned bfore bout ma favorite singer? tp perlu ke mention kan? haha, nway he is one of ma favorite singer. ofcoz u guys tahu kan owl city, sbb one of his song is contributed to the twilight movie. his vocal cord sangat smart. i like him even tak berapa nak kacak sgt, tp suara mmg ada.
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finally, its over. lets have 2days rest freedomly. yehaaa!
ni kawan baru saya. hai TRACY !
ni kawan lama saya. kema, kak mira and kak sha
thanks for your laugh, your ears and for lending me your shoulders.59
shud i tell u? nvrmind. just to let u know. ok, cmni. i know im not a good fren to take care every single thing in relationship. even with my boyfren, im failed to do that. myb this is my fault and i dont care if u want to put all the blames on me. seriously, i dont give a damn bout that. im just a person or a fren yang-tak-kesa-sangat in relationship. its not that im not taking seriously in relationship with frens. tapi aku jenis tak kesa apa-apa. so myb aku expect kau sama je cm aku. so ini adalah kesalahan saya. sorry k. sebab bagi aku, takde istilah nak makan hati, jantung or pape organ lah in relationship. just give and take. if nak ckp pasal terasa, mmg smpai kiamat pn takkn abes. sebab that is normal. macam normal flora kat our superficial organ. again, u can blame me thousand times, i stil dont care. but im not blaming u, at all. u are my fren, so i know whats ur kelemahan, and whats ur kekurangan. and i accept it throughout my life. but please do it the same thing. i have many people around me to take care of. aku tau kau slalu terasa dgn aku. aku pn pena makan aty gk, tp i just let it go. sebab thats not the only thing we want in relationship. there are lot of things i did bfore, just to make u happy and satisfy. but if u stil cant get it, just ok. takpe. saya mmg lemah bab-bab nak jaga aty org ni but im hardworking on it. just tggu dan lihat. if u cannot bear with me anymore, just tell me and leave me behind. its hurting me much but if u happy with that, go on. seriously, aku tak suka ckp benda ni esp kat blog, but im not tough enough to tell u this by face-to-face.saya tau awk baca blog saya even awk takde blog. whateva it is, im not take this thing seriously since im not that type of person, but i know u've hurt so much. sorry to become ur fren.
p/s: i love u.
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oh my, i wish i just cud have bf like u lah. the behavior just like u. the physical image just like you. the way of smiling just to be like you. can or cannot? hihi. sukaaa sgt MZ. bukan sebab muka je, tapi semua lah. takpe ah, tak dapat ngadap muka kau pn takpe lah. tgk muka abang aku pn dah ok. sebab muka abg aku pn lebih kurang je cm kau. hihi. org lah ckp, im not. :)
ok, nak tido and mimpi u lah. good nait !
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tiada siapa yang tahu.
sakit. pedih. derita.
tiada siapa yang tahu.
guide me to the right way, please. anyone?
jatuh, tenggelam, once again.
aku tidak mampu bangun seorang diri.
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the last saturday, i went to the dentist. for the exchanged of ma braces color. then our conversation started :
the doctor: siti, amacam medic? susah tak?
me: hm entah lah doc. the thing is byk sangat2. so penat gila lah like everyday kena baca.
the doctor: i know, i used to be like u. eh your sis ruhaya sambung master eh?
me: yep, isnin ni start dah class.
the doctor: wow, rajin dia belajar.
me: eh, doc blaja sampai degree ke? tak amek master?
the doctor: yes, saya tak larat dah lah nak blaja. even dapat tawaran further to specialist, tapi saya taknak. if nak blaja pn, i'd like to have islamic stdy. kitab quran tu pun tak habis lagi baca terjemahan. padahal tu kitab kita smpai akhir zaman kan. if baca saja without knowing the meaning, utk apa kan?
then i tersenyap seketika. sgt mendalam ayat doc ni. oh my, i wish i cud be just like you doc. selama ni, just baca quran without knowing the terjemahan. sgt teruk, sedangkan the kitab is ours for the muslims, sebagai pegangan. but im knowing but nothing. how pity i am. actly, this is what i want to be, just like you. as a wanna-be-doctor in future insyaallah, bukan sahaja ilmu duniawi penuh di dada, but the ilmu akhirat pun ada. then, i will proud to be myself afterwards.
for me to think. and you as my inspire
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ok, its over. i mean test untuk haemopoietic and lymphatic system is done. so agak relieve di situ. boleh rehat kan kepala otak untuk malam ni. i loikee. thats it. tadaaa :)
